Ponderous Thought Commentary: Making a Simple Connection

There is a song featuring lyrics taken from John Donne’s poem, “No man is an island; no man stands alone.”  Though this is true, sometimes we may feel that we are all alone; that there is no one connecting with us even though we’re working alongside others or going about our business in the midst of many people. 

How do we make a connection when we feel there is none forthcoming?  One of the best strategies is actually very simple – taking the time to smile at someone.  Now this may seem too simplistic.  Yet, smiling is a great way to bridge the chasm between two human beings.  A smile imparts the message that the bearer of the smile has moved out of his/her self-populated world to notice and include the recipient of the smile.  Looking at someone and smiling lets the other person know that she/he is worthy of attention and recognition as a unique person.  Receiving that recognition fulfills a basic human need.  The return smile grants the first person with the same status – worthy of attention and recognition.

Those of us who live in large urban areas may find it more difficult to leave our private, secure world to engage in the practice of smiling at strangers.  We have been trained to view strangers with distrust and even disdain in some cases.  Yes, there are people who will betray our trust if we let them.  Yet, there are many others, who like us, would like to reach out and feel the human connection of community, even if only on a superficial level. 

I have experienced the benefits of smiling at strangers especially in two locations – at my worship place and my workplace.  I belong to a church that has a strong commitment to hospitality as all members are encouraged to notice and greet strangers.  Before long, our strangers are no longer strangers as they become part of the church community thanks to the attention and recognition they receive.   I currently volunteer at a hospital that prides itself on customer satisfaction and friendliness.  Part of the volunteer orientation included a strong emphasis upon helping our guests which includes greeting them with a smile and kind words.   At first I felt quite self-conscious about smiling at strangers and making polite talk with them as we rode the elevator, waited in the cafeteria line, or walked out to the parking lot together.  However, I came to realize from both situations that, as my efforts become less self-conscious, I am open to being the recipient of others’ smiles and kind words.  It feels good to have strangers bid me a good day as I leave their company.  In fact, my whole being resonates with the feeling that I am recognized and appreciated as a fellow human being, as a fellow sojourner.  And I sense that those who receive my smile and kind words probably feel the same way.

Yes, smiling and simple greetings are powerful tools for building connections.  Certainly, the connections may be short-lived and superficial.  Nonetheless, such efforts can be very uplifting for the human spirit even within those few fleeting moments.  Feeling alone and disconnected?  Look around you, notice another person and smile.  Before long, you will experience a human connection.  

Your smile is the bridge that connects two hearts!